It wasn’t until it was too late, not until they had looked down upon us and sneered with their elite faces graced to us by whom we thought were the immortals of Greece - and then afterwords ran away into their shiny spaceships as sleek and beautiful as themselves, that we came to a realization of the shocking truth: everyone, every “ten,” hot chick, hottie, top, porn star, babe, or hunk in the world, was actually made of butter.
It made perfect sense. We were ashamed we hadn’t realized it before. We watched the tapes that they had left behind in their homes, how every morning they would ooze out of their dish-like sleep chambers, and sculpt themselves into reality. Abs were molded, breasts built up, pecs split into two by the parting motion of a single finger. The hair gels, the tans, the workouts; they were all lies, and we had fallen for them.
They fed on our insecurities, it was what they unitized to power their cities back on their home world: a world of butter, cream cheese, and some forms of melted cheese.
We only learned what had happened only after they all vanished one day. The celebrities had gone. The super models left us without a trace. Every hot girl next door had suddenly left the house vacant. Without the pretty ones, the beautiful Dorian Grays to lavish with our adoration, our old way of life soon began to crumble, having no one to uphold. No one to glorify or compare our own bodies with. It was a prosperous time for humankind, and we few thought it disgusting.
We have since assured the recent increase of butter production, and we are determined to save humanity for what it is, simply because we are bored and have nothing to do. In order to restore the old ways of thought we have created reality shows where sculptors carve what was once and always should have been the ideal of beauty. We have rallied the sabotage and destruction of the new Inner Beauty installations around the globe. We pray every night that they will return to us, on their red carpets, in their beautiful gowns, adorned with all the concepts of marble perfection. We wish to take more pictures of them.
For they were not just beauty itself, they were artists, and they created themselves in God’s image. What are the rest of us but simple beasts and demons? We are The Media, we have tasted heaven, and we wish to serve it indefinitely.